Our Actions Define Us

     Today Emily and I walked the few blocks home together from church.  We didn't talk about anything important.  Just little things.   In fact the biggest thing we talked about for almost two blocks was whether or not she was going to get to make brownies.   She felt she had been robbed of a treat in young woman's due to the fact that at the last minute her leader decided to add hazelnuts to the treat she brought for her class.  So Emily was not able to have one because of her nut allergy.   I was planning on trying a new brownie recipe that night,  because lets face it, after playing in the nursery for two hours chocolate is always a good idea, and Emily seemed upset that she had to miss out on a treat.....  "EVERYONE got treats today.  One class even had cake, and Josh came home with a candy bar."  (teenagers are fun)  So we agreed that we would have brownies tonight.  Emily seemed happy with that.  We arrived home and went about our Sunday afternoon. 

   A little while later I started making dinner and the phone rang.  It was the YW president.  She asked me if Emily had told me about what happened in YW today?  I kind of laughed a little and told her that Emily told me about there being nuts in the cookies and not to worry about it.  We were making brownies.  It was all good.  In the back of my mind I was thinking oh that's really sweet of her to call about this, but it really is not a  big deal.  

   The YW President kind of hesitated for a minute and said, "Oh I didn't, I wasn't talking about that.    Today when we stood to say the YW theme the girl sitting behind Emily pulled her chair out from under her and when she went to sit back down she fell.  I just wanted to call and talk to you about what happened and to make sure Emily was OK."    She then went on to tell me that the girl who did it has been having some problems and she is sure she did it for attention,  but how grateful she was to Emily for just standing back up getting her chair and sitting back down without making a big deal about it.  She said not many girls would have done that and how grateful they are to have Emily as part of their Young Woman's group.  She said Emily has seemed to make a lot of friends in the group.  However she was worried that maybe Emily was just too shy to do anything else in that situation and she wanted to make sure that she was OK.

     

     Had I have not walked home from church with Emily today I too might have questioned if Emily was OK,  but she did not say one word about this to me so I figured it must not have bothered her.  At least not as much as the cookie.   So that is what I told her YW leader,  but I told her I would talk to Emily about it and make sure.  She told me again how grateful she was for the way Emily handled the situation.  She said they have not had many problems with the girls, but that she would always let me know if anything like that ever happens.  I was very grateful to her for calling me and letting me know about what happened so I could make sure Emily was OK, and also make sure other things were not going on.   This is a very hard age and so many things do happen.  

     When I got off the phone I asked Emily about what happened.  She told me, and I asked her if she was alright.  She said, "Well, my side hurts a little."  I said no Emily, emotionally are you OK?  was it embarrassing?   How did you feel when it happened?  She said   She knew the girl had pulled the chair,  but she knew reacting to it might cause her to do it again so she just got her chair and sat back down.. the two friends she was sitting by both were asking her if she was OK.  She didn't feel embarrassed she felt the support of her friends.    

     As a thirteen year old girl I think I would have not handled that situation very well,  and I was in awe standing there listening to my daughter tell me how and why she did what she did.  and after talking to her I still believe what I told the YW President.  Emily did not seemed to be bothered by it.  She felt bad for the girl who did it, and wonders why she is so angry.    I told Emily that she did the right thing and how grateful her YW leaders were for how she handled herself.  

     As a mother this is one of those moments that we hope our child never has to experience,  but we know that they will, because this is the kind of world we live in.  So we try to prepare them for all of the ugliness that is out there without making them fear leaving the house, and we hope and pray that they will come home safe and unharmed.  We try to teach them that they are amazing and wonderful people,  but we wonder if they believe us.  I can not tell you how many thoughts and emotions went through my mind during that phone call,  but in the end I was so proud of my daughter for knowing who she is and what she is worth.   I love you Emily.  You are an amazing girl!

  

First Day Of 8th, 3rd, 1st Grade, and Preschool

Summer has come to an end and it is time to head back to school.  It feels a little early to me.  Our new district started school on August 21st.    (This post is a few weeks late,  because life keeps getting in the way of my blogging,  but this is a post I didn't want to miss.)  

The kids were all a little nervous and excited at the same time this year.  They all love going to school and being with their friends,  but they were a little nervous about starting at new school this year where they don't know very many kids or all of the rules and systems.  

Emily was the hardest for me to send off to school on the first day.  She is now in 8th grade,  so you think I would be used to letting her go out the door,  but this was the first year that I did not get to take her to school on the first day.  While last year I just dropped her off at the curb,  I still at least got to see that she made it safely there.  This year I took her picture and then she headed off to the bus.  I wondered all day how she was.  If her locker opened, if she found her classes OK, if she tripped on the stairs, and if she was going to be able to find the right bus to get home.  Jr High is very stressful for a parent.  Happily she made it through her first day,  and has loved school so far.  She has a few good friends and her very good friend Kelsey is her locker partner so that makes it even better.  

I was really excited for the boys to start school.  

Their school is 1.25 miles from our house so we have to walk, drive, or ride bikes to school.  We decided to give bikes a try. (At least until the weather gets cold.)  We are having so much fun riding to and from school together everyday,  and it has been good for me to get in a little exercise. 

   
When we arrived at school Josh found his new teacher Mrs Jones.  She is very excited to be teaching, and I think Josh is pretty excited to be in her class.  Josh has had a hard time finding friends in the neighborhood this summer.  For the most part it is because he was happy to just hang out with Joe and his friends and didn't see the need to make friends of his own.  So I am hoping that he will be able to make a few new buds in school.   He is loving school and seems happy to have homework to do.....I hope that lasts.

     Joe's new teacher Mrs Carter is really fun.  She has their classroom all decked out in Pirate stuff and was really happy to meet all the kids.  I think Joe will have a good time in her class.  While Joe has made quite a few friends over the summer,  none of them are in his class, so he was a little bummed about that.  I am not worried though.  Making friends does not seem to be a problem for Joe.  He likes school,  but he is not excited about homework the way Josh is.  Surprise! Surprise!

Then last but not least......Valerie has started preschool this year.  I had very mixed feelings about this.  I signed her up last January for preschool in our old neighborhood,  and she has been talking about going ever since.  When we moved, I debated just keeping her home with me for another year,  but in the end I decided it would be good for her to have a little outlet and meet some new friends.  I found a little preschool a few houses down from ours and off Valerie went to school.

She was so excited to put on her new outfit and walk to school  her first day.  When we got to school she told me she could go in by herself,  but her teacher had asked us to walk our kids down to the room for the first few weeks,  so I told her I needed to come with her.  She was shy for just one minute when we got to the room,  but then she started playing and had no problem with me leaving.   When I arrived 2 hours later to pick her up she was happily playing and did not even notice me come in.  On our walk home she told me all about her day and what a fun time she had.

While the 2 hours of getting things done without the extra help was nice,  I missed my little helper asking me fifty questions and her little chatter in the back ground.   The only thing I hate about sending my kids off to school is all of the things I miss seeing them do.  I try to ask them about their day when they get home and they usually will tell me the exciting things.  Except for Joe, who tells me his day was fine, and they just did stuff and "Mom I am not really into this talking thing!"  So I get to hear about most of it.    Even though I don't get to experience school with them,  I am so grateful my children have the opportunity to go to school and be educated, and have experiences that I can not give them.  I have been blessed with 4 very great kids and I love them more than anything.  I am excited to see all the new things they learn this year.

A True Teenager

Emily is now officially a teenager.  The night before her 13th birthday she invited a couple of friends over to hang out.  Her friend Lindsey from the old neighborhood and her new friend Kelsey 

They had a fun time playing games and watching movies.  

The day of her birthday Grandma Bolander wanted to throw a party for her and Grandpa.  When we arrived Grandma told Emily she had to wait  for a minute before she could go out to the party.  At one point Grandma had talked to Emily about maybe inviting a few friends over including a boy.  So Grandma told Emily that she had gone ahead and invited a boy to the party and he was waiting on the deck.  

Emily was very relieved when she found out who the boy was.  Dad was too.  

Emily loves sharing her birthday with Grandpa.  It always makes it that much more special.  These two have a lot in common.  Someday I will have to do a post on all of their collections.   They both have some interesting ones.   

Emily loved her gifts.  Most of them had something to do with superheros.  

 Emily is such a great kid.....even as a teenager.....She is so helpful and hardly ever complains about anything.  Yes we do get the occasional eye rolls that seem to be a little more frequent now that she is really a teenager, but she is such a great kid we really can't complain.  At Thirteen She loves to ride her bike all over the place including the dirt trail by our new house,  and she also loves super heroes and comic books.  She was very disappointed when we went to the library in our new city and found that their comic book collection was very lacking.  So she was thrilled to get a few of her own.

Emily loves to read other books too.  She likes fantasy books.  If it has a dragon in it she usually likes it.  She  is very easy going,  and has had an easy time with the move.  She has already made some new friends.  I am so grateful for Emily and all that she does for our family.  I hope she knows how much we love and appreciate her.

We love you Emily.  Happy Birthday!!!

Fathers and Sons.......and Daughters

     I have mentioned in the pasted that much to the disappointment of our children camping is just not something our family does for entertainment.  In the 14 years we have been married I have slept in a tent 1 night for a ward camp out, and the only reason we did that is because I told Ryan I was going with or without him........He is a wise man and came with us.

     I really would not mind going on a camping trip every now and then,  if someone who knew what they were doing was willing to go with us.  Ryan does not think camping is fun at all, and I have mixed feelings.   I am happy going on hikes during the day and maybe lighting a campfire in a campground to roast hot dogs and marshmallows.  Then returning home to my clean warm bed for the night.  That is about as close to camping as we get at our house.
   
     The kids on the other hand have friends who camp and think that camping sounds so much fun.  They have asked us a few times if we can go camping,  but they have all come to realize that dad is just not going to do it.......unless there is a planed event.  So when the ward announced the fathers and sons campout the boys were all over it, and they actually had convinced Ryan to take them.  He was not quite sure why he had agreed either.

     They had not given many details about the event yet,   just the date so we waited to hear more about it.   As the date got closer things became busier at work for Ryan and it was clear that they could still go,  but with his court schedule leaving early from work would be tricky.  So they would arrive at the campsite later than planned.  Then the Sunday before the camp out they finally released the details of the event....... The campsite was reserved...a hike was planned for 7:00pm and the fires would be up and burning,  but you had to bring everything else including your own food.

      Now I know for most people this would not be a big deal, but remember...WE DO NOT CAMP...and they would be arriving late, without mom who usually makes all of the food anyway.  So we began talking to the boys about other options.

I was surprised how easy it was to change the boys plans with them.  Once we started explaining to them the situation of dad having to work his regular hours and the food being better (cleaner) at home.  the boys were more than happy to move the campout to the back yard.

So Friday night came.  Ryan ended up having to work later than normal so the kids and I set up the tent in the back yard.  They were happy to let Valerie join in on the fun too.  Valerie was the most excited.  As soon as the tent went up she went and got her pillow and blanket and announced she was no longer living in the house.....This was her new room.

(Emily was not interested...more later on that)

 Then we fired up the grill and started cooking our dinner.  We let the kids roast hot dogs and marshmallows on the sticks like they were camping.

The kids loved sleeping in the tent especially when it got dark and they could use their flashlights.  Ryan was happy to sleep in his own bed.  It was a win win for everyone.   Except for Valerie who would not go to sleep outside (she was having too much fun)  so we eventually had to drag her back in the house to go to bed after the boys fell asleep.  She was not happy about that.

As for our kids getting to camp.......
     Don't feel too bad.
This is a picture of the bus that took Emily for a week long camping trip to Oakcrest last week.

She returned Friday afternoon and had such a great camping experience she did not feel the need to sleep in the tent with the other kids.  She also spent a week at girls camp in June.  (Sadly she did not take a camera with her on either camping adventure so I have nothing to share.  Except that she had a great time.)  The kids will have plenty of chances to camp as youth,  and with any luck Ryan and I can let them have those experiences while we sleep in our nice clean bed.  I have a feeling though that Ryan's days are numbered.  Scout camp is closer than he thinks.      

Great Grandma's

As things had started to settle down around here and the piles of boxes have started to disappear I was beginning to realize that summer is more than halfway over and we had yet to visit my grandma.  She must have been reading my mind,  because it seemed like as soon as I though about calling her, she called me.

It is always funny to me how excited my kids are to go work at my grandmas.  

She was looking for people to take some of her apricots off her hands, and we were more than happy to help.

I don't know if it is getting to climb the ladder,  or digging in the dirt.  or maybe it is the fact that Great Grandma always has a yummy treat and lots of love for them when they are done,  but whatever it is they always happily do the job.  (unless it starts taking too long)

Whenever I announce that we are going to Tooele to visit Great Grandma, it is always received with happy cheers.  I keep wondering if there will be a day when they will grumble and complain,  but I don't think there will be,  because they always arrive happy and leave happy.  

Great Grandma's is one of my kids favorite places to go.  I am glad,  because I love going to visit her too.  We are already planning to go back in a couple of weeks before the kids go back.  I can't wait for our next visit.  

3 Years Old

Valerie is 3

and no one is more excited than her.  

She has been waiting for her party for weeks.  

One of Valerie's favorite things to do is shop,  and one of her other favorite things is shoes.  So to start off her birthday I took her on a shopping trip to pick out a pair of birthday shoes.  She was looking for very specific shoes.  They had to be Pink & Sparkly.  We checked out a few stores and found the perfect pair.  We then celebrated with lunch at Chick-fil-a.  

After our shopping trip we headed home to get ready for the party.  

For moms sanity we kept it small this year,  but Valerie didn't seem to mind.  We invited Grandma and Grandpa Bolander for Spaghetti and cake.  

We played a few games.  

and of course there were presents.  Valerie was the most pleased when she opened the shirt she had picked out on our shopping trip.  

Valerie may have just turned Three,  but sometimes I wonder if she thinks she is Thirteen.  She is the youngest and smallest in our family but she sure does run the place.  She wants to be in the middle of everything and loves playing with her brothers.  The thing that I loved the most about our shopping trip was every time we got in the car and started driving Valerie would holler up from the back seat.  "Mom!  Turn up the radio!"  I expect that from Emily.    The other day we were in the mall looking at clothes for the boys for school.  After a few minutes Valerie said "OK now lets go to the girl clothes."

Valerie loves to paint and color and draw.  It keeps her very busy,  and she is getting better at keeping it on the right canvas,  although I think I have cleaned up more marker and crayons from her than all of my other kids combined.   Valerie loves learning, and asks a lot of questions about things.  Her favorite question lately is how much things cost.  She will be doing something and suddenly turn to me and ask me how much something costs.  For example the other day I was mopping the floor and she was coloring.  She suddenly started asking me how much her coloring book cost and then the crayons.  Then she asked me how much my mop cost.  Maybe we will have a banker on our hands.  Or maybe it is because when her brothers start asking me for things at the store,  (like they do every time we go to the store) I tell them they can buy it with their own money, and tell them how much it costs.   

Valerie has always been the most Independent of all of my kids.  I love her independence, It can make life a little easier most of the time,  but what it can also mean is, if I am not sure where she is or what she is doing.....I might want to find out.  She could be making herself a sandwich,  or helping us paint a wall,  or coloring a beautiful picture on something other than paper.  Or if we are taking too long getting ready, she could be taking herself to the park.  Yes independence keeps life very exciting.  

I love Valerie's spunk and love for life.  She does not want to miss out on anything,  and is always trying to be as big as everyone alse.  I love having her for a daughter.  She is such a blessing in my life.

 

Happy Birthday Valerie!!!

4th of July Block Party

This year we celebrated the 4th with our new neighbors.  For the last 6 years this street has had a block party on the 4th and we had been told for a few weeks how great it is and that we should plan on coming.   So we decided to stay home this year and get to know the people we live by.  We started off with a BBQ and then once the food was consumed the games began.  

Ryan joined in the first game of Coke Russian Roulette.   

He lost....but it turned out there was only one winner.  5 of the 6 bottles were rigged with a mento.  

 The kids had lots of games to play.  There was water balloon pinata.  This one was a big hit,  I am still impressed they were able to get the prizes in the water balloons.

This game was see who can stand in the ice water the longest....Joe won.  

Valerie did not like this game,  but she didn't know she could get out so she just stood in it and cried.  So I quickly snapped a picture and then told her she could get out if she didn't like it.  

There were two watermelon eating contests.  The first one I did not get pictures of,  because it was the adult round and I was in it,  but the second one was the kids.  

 Joe did a great job.  He didn't win,  but he came close.  Valerie was just cute with her big piece of melon.

 Then to finish off the games we had a water balloon toss that ended in a water balloon fight,  because don't they all.

This was just funny to me.  

 The adults and the kids were all involved and Emily got her dad right in the back.  

After the games everyone played and visited until the sun went down and then it was time for the fire works. Because of the fires recently and the really dry weather everyone was a little more cautious this year, but we still had a good show. This was a great way to get to know our neighbors a little better. I am grateful to the people who worked so hard to put it together.

 I read on facebook the other day something about the children of the 80's being the last generation to play in the street. I had to laugh a little, because as I was reading it my kids were out riding their bikes and playing basketball in the street. While there are things we are adjusting to in our new area like everyone does when they move,  there are things that I love already about living here, and all the kids running around outside is one of them.

I am grateful to live in a country where we are so blessed.   Happy Independence Day!

P.S.  Valerie was having so much fun at the party she kept referring to it as her July birthday party.  I kind of wished I had baked a cake and wrapped her presents.  I hoped that she was not going to be disappointed at the end of the night when there was no cake and presents.  And I really hope she is not disappointed on her real birthday when her small party with just us is not quite so exciting.  Maybe I better plan a couple of games.  :)