A few weeks ago I walked in the room and heard Joe and Emily having a conversation about tattoos. Emily was telling Joe that he should not get one. (He is nine, he was not heading to a tattoo parlor......yet.) That it was bad for his body, and that the prophet of our church has told us not to get tattoos. Then she told him that if he got a tattoo I would not love him anymore. That is when I had to step in. I told them that no matter what they do I would always love them. I admitted that if they chose to go against what we have taught them that I would be disappointed, and probably sad, but I would always love them. Then my helpful teenager chimed in and added. "Yes, but you will love him less. Like only 97%."
I then turned to Emily and said, "Your Grandma has a tattoo, do you love her less?"
Granted her Grandma's tattoo is the size of the head of a pin and she has it as a result of her cancer treatment, but I was trying to prove a point and it worked. I had left Emily speechless. I asked her again. "Do you only love your Grandma 97%?" Of course she answered no. I did explain to my kids why grandma has a tattoo, and I also talked to them about the reasons the prophet has asked us not to get them. But still hanging in the air was the question would I love them less, like only 97% if they chose to do something I had told them not to. I tried my best to tell them that I would always love them no matter what, but I could still tell that Emily was doubting me.
My children are still young and the rebellion stage in life (at least I hope it is just a stage) is just beginning to show, but I do know some great mothers who have experienced their children going against what they have been taught. Some in big ways. One thing I have seen with these mothers is that no matter what their child does. Even though they are sad or disappointed they all have still loved their child just as much as they did before. They still want their child to be happy, and they do what they can to keep that relationship with their child. I have seen some of the hurt and frustration, but I have also seen that they would still do anything for that child. These mothers are a great example to me.
But being the mother I am I couldn't help but play the 97% card a few times with Emily over the next few weeks. "Mom I forgot to do this!" "Oh no Emily you better fix it or I will only love you 97%." "Mom I messed up on this in school today!" Ought Oh! I guess I can only love you 97% today." This was all done in fun with both of us laughing, and sometimes Joe would jump in and help. I thought I got my point across though at how funny it was to tell someone that you only love them a certain percent.
After a few days the joke died down a little until we were done with it. (or so I thought)
Then this week at our monthly week night Relief Society meeting, they had a therapist who specializes in Pornography addiction come and speak to us on the subject. It was a really good class. I have been to other classes on Internet safety and how to try to prevent your child from seeing pornography, but in this class we were brought right into the mind of an addict. How it starts when it becomes an addiction why it is such a big problem and how to handle it if it happens in your family, and also ways to try to keep it from happening.
He said that as a parent it is hard to control everything your kids see. We need to do everything we can to try to have them not see it, but we live in a world now where pornography is rampant and there is a good chance they will see something somewhere. One of the big things he said in preventing it from going from an accidental sighting to an addiction is to talk to your kids about it so that if they ever come across it they know what it is, how we feel about it and to come and talk to you about it. If you have already laid the ground work hopefully they will come to you, and then it can often times stop it from going any further.
With Emily and Joe I had already talked to them at their own levels about sex and perverts and things like that, but I couldn't remember talking specifically about pornography. So I decided to talk to them a little about it . I told them that I had gone to a class that talked about the dangers of Pornography and asked them if they knew what that was. They both said yes and started telling me what they knew. They knew what they needed to, so I just told them how important it is to come and talk to me if they ever saw or heard anything like that or if something made them feel uncomfortable, so we could talk about it. I ended by telling them that I loved them and that I didn't want them to look at pornography. I must have gotten too serious for Joe because then he came back with some smart Alec remark about it. So I told Joe that if he ever went looking for those kind of pictures he wouldn't see the sun. Then Emily, right on cue chimed in, "Yeah and she will only love you 72%."
We all laughed at that comment. I joked back that with the tatto that would bring it down to 69%. Then Joe and Emily started giving percentages to other things and adding them up to see how low my love could go.
I really hope they do not believe that. Hopefully they know that a mothers love is bigger than any problem. I also hope that I never have to prove my love in this way either. For now I will just try to show them that I do love them 100% all the time, and sometimes I love them even more than that. Like 107%.
8 years ago
