Our Actions Define Us

     Today Emily and I walked the few blocks home together from church.  We didn't talk about anything important.  Just little things.   In fact the biggest thing we talked about for almost two blocks was whether or not she was going to get to make brownies.   She felt she had been robbed of a treat in young woman's due to the fact that at the last minute her leader decided to add hazelnuts to the treat she brought for her class.  So Emily was not able to have one because of her nut allergy.   I was planning on trying a new brownie recipe that night,  because lets face it, after playing in the nursery for two hours chocolate is always a good idea, and Emily seemed upset that she had to miss out on a treat.....  "EVERYONE got treats today.  One class even had cake, and Josh came home with a candy bar."  (teenagers are fun)  So we agreed that we would have brownies tonight.  Emily seemed happy with that.  We arrived home and went about our Sunday afternoon. 

   A little while later I started making dinner and the phone rang.  It was the YW president.  She asked me if Emily had told me about what happened in YW today?  I kind of laughed a little and told her that Emily told me about there being nuts in the cookies and not to worry about it.  We were making brownies.  It was all good.  In the back of my mind I was thinking oh that's really sweet of her to call about this, but it really is not a  big deal.  

   The YW President kind of hesitated for a minute and said, "Oh I didn't, I wasn't talking about that.    Today when we stood to say the YW theme the girl sitting behind Emily pulled her chair out from under her and when she went to sit back down she fell.  I just wanted to call and talk to you about what happened and to make sure Emily was OK."    She then went on to tell me that the girl who did it has been having some problems and she is sure she did it for attention,  but how grateful she was to Emily for just standing back up getting her chair and sitting back down without making a big deal about it.  She said not many girls would have done that and how grateful they are to have Emily as part of their Young Woman's group.  She said Emily has seemed to make a lot of friends in the group.  However she was worried that maybe Emily was just too shy to do anything else in that situation and she wanted to make sure that she was OK.

     

     Had I have not walked home from church with Emily today I too might have questioned if Emily was OK,  but she did not say one word about this to me so I figured it must not have bothered her.  At least not as much as the cookie.   So that is what I told her YW leader,  but I told her I would talk to Emily about it and make sure.  She told me again how grateful she was for the way Emily handled the situation.  She said they have not had many problems with the girls, but that she would always let me know if anything like that ever happens.  I was very grateful to her for calling me and letting me know about what happened so I could make sure Emily was OK, and also make sure other things were not going on.   This is a very hard age and so many things do happen.  

     When I got off the phone I asked Emily about what happened.  She told me, and I asked her if she was alright.  She said, "Well, my side hurts a little."  I said no Emily, emotionally are you OK?  was it embarrassing?   How did you feel when it happened?  She said   She knew the girl had pulled the chair,  but she knew reacting to it might cause her to do it again so she just got her chair and sat back down.. the two friends she was sitting by both were asking her if she was OK.  She didn't feel embarrassed she felt the support of her friends.    

     As a thirteen year old girl I think I would have not handled that situation very well,  and I was in awe standing there listening to my daughter tell me how and why she did what she did.  and after talking to her I still believe what I told the YW President.  Emily did not seemed to be bothered by it.  She felt bad for the girl who did it, and wonders why she is so angry.    I told Emily that she did the right thing and how grateful her YW leaders were for how she handled herself.  

     As a mother this is one of those moments that we hope our child never has to experience,  but we know that they will, because this is the kind of world we live in.  So we try to prepare them for all of the ugliness that is out there without making them fear leaving the house, and we hope and pray that they will come home safe and unharmed.  We try to teach them that they are amazing and wonderful people,  but we wonder if they believe us.  I can not tell you how many thoughts and emotions went through my mind during that phone call,  but in the end I was so proud of my daughter for knowing who she is and what she is worth.   I love you Emily.  You are an amazing girl!