We introduced video games into our house just before Josh turned 2. Even though he could not play them he was mesmerized by them and had to hold a controller. Joe and Emily are pretty good about Video games. They like to play them, but if there is something else to do they will go do it. However Josh just wants to play Video games ALL THE TIME!
To him there is only one activity worth doing and that is playing the Wii. He does not want to play with friends, or go to preschool. He has even started passing up going on outings with me, which is something he use to always love to do. Now when I ask if he wants to go to the store, he says no I will just stay here.
I never felt like I really needed to limit Emily and Joe with Video games, because they were good about turning it off when I told them too, and not really spending too much time on it. (Joe has gotten a little worse now that he is older) But now that I have a 4 year old who is already ruining his life over Video games, I have had to change the rules, and I am up for suggestions.
Plan #1
I started by only letting them play an hour a day, and that worked for a bit, but after a few days when Josh had to turn it off he started following me around the rest of the day crying, whining, screaming and stomping his feet because he didn't get to play long enough.
This was not good for me. I told him if he kept doing that then he would not get to play the next day, but that meant nothing to him. So I reevaluated my plan.
Plan #2
The next thing I tried was having them do chores to earn their video game time.
Emily has always been a really good helper around the house, and will do anything for money. To get the boys to clean anything is like pulling teeth and money means nothing to them. However extra video game time is like gold especially for Josh. He will do anything for more Wii time. This was working most of the time, but now I feel like all we do is bribe Josh with the Wii to get him to do anything.
If he will clean his room, or pick up the front room, the toy room.
If he will ride his bike for a while or play outside. I have even had to use it to get him to play with friends.
You can see how we have gotten in a bad cycle. Then last night I really needed the kids to get some things done, so I told them if they did it, they could play Wii all day today. (knowing that they had school for part of the day.) The kids did everything I asked and did not complain. They went to bed on time and everyone seemed happy. Then at 3:00am Ryan rolled over to find Josh standing next to the bed.
"It's morning I am ready to play Wii all day!"
Of course Ryan sent him back to bed, and he eventually went back to sleep.
PLAN #3
Only play Wii on Saturdays?
To be honest I really don't mind my kids playing Video games a little bit each day. I find it gives us a little bit of down time, and I can usually get a few things done while they are playing. (unless I play with them.)
PLAN #4
I guess I will just keep limiting his time and introducing him to other things, and when he is a little older he will find other things he enjoys..................or he will just be old enough to stop following me around screaming and crying when he has to turn it off. (He does get sent to time out for that, and the Wii does not come back on.)
The Wii is consuming Josh's life.There is so much more in life to be excited about, what can I do to help him figure this out?
I don't feel like this is a power struggle between us. I just feel like that is all he thinks or cares about.
Let me know if you have any ideas!
5 comments:
I dont have any ideas because I think you had great ones! I think anything like this takes time and you have to expect it to be a power struggle for a while, especially at this age. So my suggestion is to do what you doing and lower you expectations of his ability to stay within the limits you set without your help. Meaning earning wii time. Oh and maybe have free wii time for an hour a day and then he can earn more so you don't go crazy. I don't know. If my twins would ever get well we would have him over to play. Though I let guests pick the games/toys and we have a wii too... Just kidding. I died laughing that he woke you up at 3am. It's harmless till it interupts your sleep and induces whining and crying all day!
You had the exact same ideas I would have had. The last thing I'd do is just make the Wii disapear when he's not looking. And only bring it out (again when he's not looking) on certain days too. It seems extreme and upsetting since it is an expensive game, but it might help a little.
But, you are right, I am sure eventually he'll gain other interests.
I think you have great ideas. The only thing I would suggest, although I'm positive that you are doing it, is to make sure you are following through with any threats, punishments, etc. If you don't, then he knows you don't mean it.
When I taught socials skills, we had a job chart type thing. For each 15 minutes of group, if they were listening and paying attention and doing what they were supposed to do, they got a sticker. If they got all of their stickers for group, they got a reward from the prize box. What was the most helpful about it was the kids tangible they could see to show them how close they were to their goal. Maybe you could do something like that with Josh. For every chore or good behavior or not waking you up at night, he gets a sticker to put on a chart and after so many stickers, he can play the Wii. I think it would be helpful with him to have something tangible like that.
You're a great mommy! You"ll figure it out! Good luck and let me know how it goes!
I was thinking about this today and was wondering if it might be along the same lines as his obession with trains. I think he will eventually grow out of it, like he did with trains and move onto the next thing!
I was thinking about this today and was wondering if it might be along the same lines as his obession with trains. I think he will eventually grow out of it, like he did with trains and move onto the next thing!
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