Church Dances

     Now that Emily is 14 that means she gets to go to the church dances.  I really didn't think she even knew about them, and I really didn't think she would be interested.  But,to my surprise as her fourteenth birthday approached, she and her friend Kelsie began talking about finally being able to  go to the dance.  Tonight I just dropped them off at their very first one. 

     It brought back a lot of memories for me and again made me feel a little old.  How did I get a teenager old enough to go to these?

    When I was fourteen/fifteen, my friend Becky and I often went to the church dances.  Nothing really profound happened at the dances, but we must of had fun, because we kept going back.   I don't think I will ever forget the first time we went though.  It was the first time that both of us had ever been to a dance.  We were nervous and a little silly.  When we got to the dance we migrated to the side of the room and watched.  We danced to the faster songs and the slow songs we just stood (a little awkwardly)  and talked.     We watched the other boys who were standing on the side.  Too chicken to ask girls to dance and we set our sites on Mr. Tie and Mr. Sweater.  We called them this, because we had no idea who they were, and that was what they were wearing.  They were acting a little silly.  If I remember right  they were measuring distances in the room.  I can't remember why.  Maybe just to avoid the subject of dancing with a girl.  They looked non threatening so Becky and I decided that we would ask them to dance on the next slow song, and we did.  After dancing with them we found out that they were both named Mark.  They were nice.  It was their first time at the dance too.  We danced with them.  I think we even switched on the next slow dance and danced with the other one.   and then went back to our separate places in the room.
 
     The next month we returned to the dance, and there was Mr. Tie and Mr Sweater again (Because they both had the same first name  we kept their Nick Names ).  Every month when we would go they would be there.  We usually would dance one dance with each of them (sometimes they would ask us and other times we them.)  and sometimes we even hung out a little.   We even told them their nicknames eventually.  I never dated either one of them, but I considered them my friends. I know there were other boys I danced with, but It was nice to have safe dance buddies. 

     I hope that tonight Emily and Kelsie have lots of fun, and come home with their own story to tell.  Even if it is just about how goofy fourteen year old boys are. 

School Begins

It is August 20th and School has already begun.

 

Emily is in 9th grade this year! 

She is going to be going to a different school again this year.  I feel a little bad that all through Jr High she has had to change schools every year,  but I think this new school will be a good one. 

Emily is very excited to be in Seminary this year.  I hope she likes it.   It was usually one of my favorite classes.

 

 

Joe is in Fourth Grade and is very excited because fourth graders can run for the school president.  He is already campaigning. 

He did not get the teacher he was hoping for,  but I really like the teacher he did get, and I think he will too.  She was over the student council last year and can probably give him a few pointers.

 

 

Joe was a little unhappy to find out that Makayla was in his class again,  but I think they will have fun this year. 

 

 Josh is starting 2nd Grade. 

 He was really nervous when we got to school,  but he was happy to be there.  His class is out in the portables this year.  Josh liked that.

 Valerie is in preschool this year.  She thinks she is all grown up. 

 We are doing a little co-op preschool this year with a few of her friends.  I am really looking forward to this.  Because she is my last I am glad I get to be such a big part of her last year home. 

Summer Review 2013

It seems like this Year is flying by, and Summer was no different.  It was fun and busy and did not seem long enough.  Here are some of the highlights of our Summer vacation. 

 

School ended right after Memorial day.  So Memorial day weekend we stared giving our yard a sprucing up.  We put in some flower beds along the side of our house,  and replaced the one in the front. 

The last day of school Grandma Lay was here to help us kick off Summer.  The kids only had to go for about an hour and a half the last day (why they had that last day at all I still don't know)  So Grandma and I picked the kids up from school and we headed to Timpanogas Cave. 
I was not sure how Valerie would do on this hike,  but all of the kids did great.  They loved seeing the cave.  After we were done though Valerie told her dad that it was creepy. 

 

We went out to visit Great Grandma in Tooele a couple of times this summer. The first time we went we headed into to the canyon and had a picnic. 

At the end of June we went with a group of friends to Tracy Aviary.  We had not been there for years.  Joe's favorite birds were the Vultures.

In July Valerie turned 4. 

We spent the morning with Garndma Bolander

Then Grandma and Grandpa Lay came to visit.  Grandma helped us the next day at with Valerie's party.  We invited her friends over for lunch and swimming. 

 

Later that month we had a nice surprise.  Our friends the Blacks came to visit all the way from China.  Emily and Melanie had fun catching up with each other. 

 

 

In the middle of July we headed to Washington to visit Grandma and Grandpa Lay.

We had lots of fun at the beach

 

 

Picking and eating berries.

 

Hiking to Horsetail falls.

Dinner with just the adults. 

and Going to the Portland Zoo.



 

In August it was Emily's 14th Birthday, and Grandpa's .......Birthday too.  I always feel a little bad for Dster, because his birthday is always overshadowed by Emilys.  He does not seem to mind though. 

Emily also had a small party with a few of her friends.  Kelsie, Savannah, Wolverine and Kiki all came over for dinner, games and a movie. 

 

Ryan and I were able to make it t a couple of the stages of the tour of Utah this summer.  That made Ryan very happy. 

 

With the help of Grandpa Lay and Ryan, Joe took second place over all in our wards Pinewood Derby with his car Deadpool. 

And Lunch with Grandpa Bolander is always a treat.

 

 

And to fill up our down time in between all of these fun adventures, we used our Pass of all passes to have more fun at Trafalgia and Seven Peaks. 

We had a really fun Summer.  The only bad thing was it was not long enough.  School started way too early this year. 

Easter Fun!

There are some things that come with Easter that you can not skip.  It is a must that we dye Easter eggs.  This year Easter weekend was full of things no Easter related that I had to do,  so finding the right time to dye the eggs was a little tricky.  It ended up that I prepared the eggs and then left the dying to Ryan and the kids.  When Josh found out I was not going to be there he was concerned.  "Who is going to take our picture with our eggs?"

I told him that I could take one when I got home.  When he was finished with his eggs he started asking Ryan where I was.  He wanted to eat one of his eggs, but he didn't want to until I had taken a picture of him.  This is really funny to me, because Josh is my child who hates getting his picture taken the most.  Ryan offered to take his picture, but Josh insisted on waiting for me.  I loved that he didn't want me to miss out on the whole activity.  When I got home I quickly took his picture then he happily enjoyed an egg. 

 

Josh was really into Easter this year.  For a couple of weeks before the big day Josh asked if the Easter Bunny was going to hide their baskets this year.  When I told him yes he began planning where the Easter Bunny might hide his.  When he would think of a good spot he would tell me and ask me if I thought that was where his basket would be.  He came up with some really good spots, so I knew the Easter Bunny was going to have to be tricky with him. 

Saturday night the kids put out their baskets.  Joe made this fun Easter basket at school out of a milk carton. 

Easter morning the hunt for the baskets began.  Valerie was still asleep when we started the hunt,  but she was one of the first to find hers.  After 45 minutes of looking and Ryan and I finally giving in and playing hot and cold with the kids.  Everyone found where their baskets were hidden.  That Easter Bunny was really tricky this year. 

Valerie's was in her easel.

 

Joe's was on the food storage shelves behind a few boxes of cereal.

 

Josh's was under a pile of clothes in his room.  The Easter Bunny decided that Josh would probably not think to look in his own room, and he was right.   

Emily was the last to find her basket.  She kept hoping that it would just jump out at her.  But the Easter Bunny had other plans.  Her basket was hanging on the coat rack under her dads coat. 

 

The baskets were found!

 

After the kids loaded up with sugar we headed off to Church were my favorite part of the day happened. The kids got up with the primary in Sacrament Meeting and sang "If the Savior Stood Beside Me."  I love that song. 

 

To finish off our Easter Celebration we headed to Grandma's house.  She always puts on a fun Easter party and this year was no different.

 

After a great dinner, the kids had an Easter Egg hunt where they got to find special eggs just for them. 

Then we all played a few rounds of Easter Bingo. 



 

Grandma had some prizes for the winners, so it was very serious.

 



We all had fun, and it was nice to get to visit with everyone. 

 

I love holidays.  I am a little sad that the next one is not for a while. 

 

Happy Easter!

I love you 97%

     A few weeks ago I walked in the room and heard Joe and Emily having a conversation about tattoos.  Emily was telling Joe that he should not get one. (He is nine, he was not heading to a tattoo parlor......yet.)   That it was bad for his body, and that the prophet of our church has told us not to get tattoos.  Then she told him that if he got a tattoo I would not love him anymore.  That is when I had to step in.  I told them that no matter what they do I would always love them.  I admitted that if they chose to go against what we have taught them that I would be disappointed, and probably sad,  but I would always love them.  Then my helpful teenager chimed in and added.  "Yes, but you will love him less.  Like only 97%."   

     I then turned to Emily and said, "Your Grandma has a tattoo, do you love her less?" 
Granted her Grandma's tattoo is the size of the head of a pin and she has it as a result of her cancer treatment,  but I was trying to prove a point and it worked.  I had left Emily speechless.  I asked her again.  "Do you only love your Grandma 97%?"  Of course she answered no.   I did explain to my kids why grandma has a tattoo, and I also talked to them about the reasons the prophet has asked us not to get them.  But still hanging in the air was the question would I love them less, like only 97% if they chose to do something I had told them not to.  I tried my best to tell them that I would always love them no matter what, but I could still tell that Emily was doubting me.

     My children are still young and the rebellion stage in life (at least I hope it is just a stage) is just beginning to show, but I do know some great mothers who have experienced their children going against what they have been taught. Some in big ways.  One thing I have seen with these mothers is that no matter what their child does.  Even though they are sad or disappointed they all have still loved their child just as much as they did before.  They still want their child to be happy, and they do what they can to keep that relationship with their child.  I have seen some of the hurt and frustration, but I have also seen that they would still do anything for that child.  These mothers are a great example to me.

    But being the mother I am I couldn't help but play the 97% card a few times with Emily over the next few weeks. "Mom I forgot to do this!"  "Oh no Emily you better fix it or I will only love you 97%."  "Mom I messed up on this in school today!"  Ought Oh!  I guess I can only love you 97% today."   This was all done in fun with both of us laughing, and sometimes Joe would jump in and help.  I thought I got my point across though at how funny it was to tell someone that you only love them a certain percent.     

     After a few days the joke died down a little until we were done with it. (or so I thought)

     Then this week at our monthly week night Relief Society meeting,  they had a therapist who specializes in Pornography addiction come and speak to us on the subject.  It was a really good class.  I have been to other classes on Internet safety and how to try to prevent your child from seeing pornography,  but in this class we were brought right into the mind of an addict.  How it starts when it becomes an addiction why it is such a big problem and how to handle it if it happens in your family, and also ways to try to keep it from happening. 
   
     He said that as a parent it is hard to control everything your kids see.  We need to do everything we can to try to have them not see it,  but we live in a world now where pornography is rampant and there is a good chance they will see something somewhere.  One of the big things he said in preventing it from going from an accidental sighting to an addiction is to talk to your kids about it so that if they ever come across it they know what it is, how we feel about it and to come and talk to you about it.     If you have already laid the ground work hopefully they will come to you, and then it can often times stop it from going any further.

    With Emily and Joe I had already talked to them at their own levels about sex and perverts and things like that,  but I couldn't remember talking specifically about pornography.  So I decided to talk to them a little about it .  I told them that I had gone to a class that talked about the dangers of Pornography and asked them if they knew what that was.  They both said yes and started telling me what they knew.  They knew what they needed to, so I just told them how important it is to come and talk to me if they ever saw or heard anything like that or if something made them feel uncomfortable, so we could talk about it.  I ended by telling them that I loved them and that I didn't want them to look at pornography.  I must have gotten too serious for Joe because then he came back with some smart Alec remark about it.  So I told Joe that if he ever went looking for those kind of pictures he wouldn't see the sun.  Then Emily, right on cue chimed in, "Yeah and she will only love you 72%."

     We all laughed at that comment.  I joked back that with the tatto that would bring it down to 69%.  Then Joe and Emily started giving percentages to other things and adding them up to see how low my love could go.

     I really hope they do not believe that.  Hopefully they know that a mothers love is bigger than any problem.  I also hope that I never have to prove my love in this way either.  For now I will just try to show them that I do love them 100% all the time, and sometimes I love them even more than that.     Like 107%.
        

    

Another Mystery Solved

     Do you remember the Fabreez commercial that was on T.V. where the mom is cleaning up all of her kids toys and spraying the Fabreez.  Then after she picks up the last toy she turns around to look at the nice clean room and instead we see the room exactly how it was when the commercial started.  Toys everywhere?

     I had two reactions to this commercial.  Some days it made me laugh out loud and other days it made me want to cry.    I could totally relate to this mother.  Cleaning has never been my favorite thing, and as a mother of young children It always feels like when I do clean someone is right behind me undoing everything I just did.  (because they usually are) 

     I clean the kitchen, someone is hungry.  I make a treat, my family eats it all.  I mop the floor, someone walks on it while it is still wet.  I do the laundry, the family wears their clothes.  I have my kids clean the toy room.......if you have seen the commercial you know how that goes.  It never ends.

     I know, this is what being a mom is about and that is how it is, but occasionally I find myself asking WHY?   Why can't I have a totally clean house for just 5 minutes?  Why am I the only one who can see the dirt?  Why can't I have cookies in the cookie jar like my grandma does?   You know those need to know, life changing questions. 

     The answer to this question is because we have 6 people living in this house, and 4 of those are children, but that never seems to really ease my mind.

     Well today I think I discovered the real reason WHY.

     Cleaning the bathrooms is probably my least favorite job.  There are many reasons why I don't like it, but the most frustrating thing for me about cleaning the bathrooms is that it seams like no matter what, as soon as I am done someone immediately goes in and uses it.  Even if there is still a dirty toilet that I have not cleaned yet.  There is something about the clean one.  WHY? 

      I have found the best way to avoid this problem is to clean them when most of the family is gone.  The only down side to this is the bathroom is one of those chores that my kids like to help with.  As much as I do not like it, they love to clean it. So I would be without the extra help, but if they are not home the toilets stay cleaner a little longer.  (I know I am crazy.)

     I do still have one helper at home and that is my three year old Valerie.  Today she happily helped me clean all three bathrooms, and like clock work as soon as we finished with the first one, amazingly she had to use the potty. Which one did she use?  Of  course the one we had just cleaned. 

   We headed to the second bathroom which is just a half bath and quickly cleaned that.  Luckily no one was inspired there.  Then we headed into my room to clean the master bathroom.  After we got most of it done Valerie lost interest, and went off to play.  (She really only likes using the scrub brush in the toilet and spraying the mirror with the Windex).  I continued cleaning.  When I was done mopping the floor and just putting everything back where it goes Valerie came back in, and this is the conversation that followed,

 "Mom did you use the potty?"
"No"
 "Why not?"
"Because I don't need to right now."
"But it's clean!"
"Well, I want to let it be clean for a few minutes."
"Why?"

     For me this was an "Ah Ha" moment.  I now understood my three year old in a whole new way.  I now understood how she saw my cleaning.  To her I was not cleaning so that things could be clean.  I was cleaning so that she could have a clean canvas to get dirty again.  The world now makes so much more sense.  Now if I can just get her to see it my way. 

    

My Favorite Holiday

Thanksgiving is probably my favorite Holiday.  I have lots of great memories as a kid getting together with my cousins for the entire weekend and just having lots of fun together.  Now that I am older I still love it.  I love having a holiday that is all about being thankful. The celebration of it means getting together as a family and spending time together, and just being grateful for each other and all that we have.  

 

 

This year our family has been very blessed and I am very grateful for all that we have.   

 

This Thanksgiving we were blessed to be able to spend it with most of our Bolander family  at the Grand America Hotel.    

 

This is my favorite Thanksgiving Feast.  No cooking or clean up, and lots of tasty food to enjoy until you can't eat anymore.  Everyone gets to relax, and enjoy each other. 

 

 

After the meal we stopped by the toy shop where the two youngest Bolander's had fun playing on the candy organ.

 

For an even bigger treat this year, Grandma Bolander got everyone rooms at the Little America for a couple of nights so we could spend the weekend together. 

 

 

For Black Friday Grandma planned an activity for us at City Creek mall.  We were each given a person to shop for and $10 dollars to find them a gift.  Then we divided into teams and went shopping. 

 

 

After our group made a purchase, my little shopper Valerie insisted on carrying the bag.  she didn't get very far with it.  It was almost as big as she was.

 

 

At the unveiling of the gifts it was fun to see what everyone was able to find. (Some of the groups may have crossed paths with each other)   

 

 

After shopping it was time to swim.  After all you can't stay at a hotel and not swim. 

 

 

At least not when you are under 12

(Emily stayed in the room and took a nap)

 

 

 

We finished off the weekend with a visit to Temple Square. 

 

 

It was a fun Thanksgiving Holiday!

 

 

  Thank you Grandma and Grandpa Bolander for making it such a memorable weekend for our family.